If Rest is the Resistance, why are we Resisting Rest?
“We are socialized into systems that cause us to conform and believe our worth is connected to how much we can produce. Our constant labor becomes a prison that allows us to be disembodied. We become easy for the systems to manipulate, disconnected from our power as divine beings and hopeless. We forget how to dream. This is how grind culture continues. We internalize the lies and in turn become agents of an unsustainable way of living.”
― Tricia Hersey
In the cold spring of 2020, I began to walk. Truthfully, I’d been walking since the 1980’s, but I rarely, if ever, walked for the sake of walking. Walking was a means to an ends- a way of getting from point A to point B. Sometimes, I’d find myself taking the long way to get somewhere- especially when I lived in San Francisco and spent hours of each day stuck in traffic, I’d choose a long walk along the bay to get to an evening yoga class or meet a friend for dinner. However, as life became busier, especially after I became a parent, walking was something I did to get to where I needed to be. Until March of 2020, when suddenly the only place I needed to be- the only place I could be- was at home with my husband and three-year-old daughter.
Walking, just for the sake of walking, became a way of reconnecting myself with the world when isolation was required. I paid closer attention to the buds as they appeared on the trees, the squirrels chasing each other, even the divots and cracks in the sidewalks. And on these walks, I began to listen to podcasts in earnest, desperate to hear other people’s stories, learn from the wisdom of leaders and healers during these unprecedented times, and feel connected even when I was walking alone. It was on one of these walks that I first heard the voice of Tricia Hersey, author of The Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto. Soon, I purchased her book for myself, and I gifted it to colleagues. In 2022, when I was tasked with initiating a new office of sexual assault response on a local college campus, I purchased copies for a lending library I created for students, faculty, and staff. Sometimes a book comes into our lives when we need it most. And sometimes, it reappears, again and again, when we still need to learn the lesson it provides.
“The Rest Is Resistance framework also does not believe in the toxic idea that we are resting to recharge and rejuvenate so we can be prepared to give more output to capitalism. What we have internalized as productivity has been informed by a capitalist, ableist, patriarchal system. Our drive and obsession to always be in a state of “productivity” leads us to the path of exhaustion, guilt, and shame. We falsely believe we are not doing enough and that we must always be guiding our lives toward more labor. The distinction that must be repeated as many times as necessary is this: We are not resting to be productive. We are resting simply because it is our divine right to do so.”
― Tricia Hersey
When I decided to establish my consulting practice, I assumed I’d jump right into the process of building JT Consulting. I was surprised to discover how much I needed to unravel before I could build. I had developed unhelpful and harmful beliefs and habits over the past two decades, which I had unconsciously brought into my new practice. Beliefs like,
“My value is in how much I can produce.”
“I have to prove I’m not abandoning my field by doing the most for every client all the time.”
“If I take my foot off the gas, I could lose everything I’m trying to build.”
All of these thoughts were rooted in fear and a scarcity mindset. Despite handing out copies of The Rest is Resistance to my beloved colleagues, I still, unknowingly, believed that I was not yet deserving of the rest I wanted others to have. I created my own consulting practice so I could create the life I dreamed of having- one that allowed me to be present with my family, prioritize my health and wellbeing, and do my best work. Yet I struggled with shame and guilt about leaving the nonprofit sector, worried that I would be accused (by whom?) of laziness or lack of commitment if I didn’t work 9-5 every day, didn’t want to abandon the movements that I still felt dedicated and indebted to serving. I had to undertake the excavation work to uncover the roots of these beliefs, to dig out what was no longer serving me, and to redefine what commitment and success truly require.
I do my best work when I operate from an abundance mindset, rather than one of scarcity. I can achieve amazing results when I tend to all parts of myself, and honor my needs. I am able to better see and serve my clients when I am embodying the lessons I hope to impart. For over 20 years, I served my movement by running the marathon alongside amazing colleagues at incredible organizations. When I founded JTC, I didn’t quit the race- I changed my role. Now I’m able to be the cheerleader, hand out water, offer nourishment, and make sure the people fighting this fight have what they need to keep going and win.
And what our movement needs more than ever? The opportunity- and the willingness- to rest.
“Loving ourselves and each other deepens our disruption of the dominant systems. They want us unwell, fearful, exhausted, and without deep self-love because you are easier to manipulate when you are distracted by what is not real or true.”
― Tricia Hersey
In every system I’ve ever worked or lived in, it’s been evident to me that people who desire to obtain and maintain power over others are inherently threatened by the sexual and domestic violence movements, which seek to disrupt and dismantle power imbalances. For every individual and organization that is working to foster safety and inclusiveness in the face of harm and division, it can feel like we are Sisyphus, pushing a rock that grows heavier every moment up an never-ending hill. Our fear (and those in power who benefit from our fear) tells us that if we take a moment to rest, that rock will fall, crushing and destroying the work we’ve done and the people we are trying to serve.
The threat is real, and so is our fear. Ignoring it or trying to numb it out isn’t the answer, but neither is exhausting ourselves to the point of breaking. Resisting burnout is a revolutionary act, and to do this, we must still have room to access joy, reminding ourselves not just what we are fighting against, but what we are fighting for. We must be aware of how we are showing up; our value is not just in what we do, but in how we do it. Some days we can bring our all to running the race. On other days, we add more value by attending to those who are better equipped to fight that day’s battle. And some days, we just need to rest and reconnect with our humanity, that which makes us unique, valuable, and whole.
“You were not just born to center your entire existence on work and labor. You were born to heal, to grow, to be of service to yourself and community, to practice, to experiment, to create, to have space, to dream, and to connect.”
― Tricia Hersey
I don’t diminish how challenging it can be to believe we are worthy of rest when the world feels like a forest fire growing larger each day. I simply want to encourage us all to remember that we have a choice, that we are inherently valuable, and that the impulse to never rest and inevitably burn ourselves out is not accidental and does not belong to us.
“Release the shame you feel when resting. It does not belong to you.”
― Tricia Hersey
We can resist. We can win. We can, finally, rest even when it feels impossible, especially when it feels that way.
