What We Share and Why We Share It
What do we share with our colleagues and why do we choose to share- or not?
I recently had the honor of leading a professional development day for an incredible group of educators. My preparation in the days leading up to it looked a little different than normal; this time, I had to plan with my medical team and family for how I was going to facilitate a day of learning only weeks after my hysterectomy. As part of this preparation, I had to ask myself: Do I want to share that I had a recent surgery? If so, do I want to say what kind? I went through the benefits and trade-offs of different scenarios and finally asked myself the only question that really mattered:
What do I need to share in order to do my best work?
I began that day by sharing that I had recently had a hysterectomy. I shared what an honor and a privilege it was for me to stand in front of them and facilitate a day of learning on fostering a trauma-informed school environment, and that my decision to share this information was an example of what we would be learning. Trauma-informed learning or working environments are not places where people are obligated to share their traumas. Trauma-informed spaces are places where you can share what you need to in order to learn and do your best work. For me, sharing my recent surgery helped to explain why I needed to sit down for parts of the presentation or why I needed to rest in between sessions. Being honest about where I was physically allowed me to put less pressure on myself; had I not shared, I may have been more self-conscious that if I sat down or had trouble finding a word (post-hysterectomy brain fog is no joke!), people would think I didn’t take this work seriously. In fact, it was because I cared so much that I felt it was important to share.
Sharing this information took about 90 seconds. It never came up again, and the day was- for me at least- incredible. Because I honored my own needs, I could be more attentive and present to the group's needs. I knew that sharing my experience might lead to questions during breaks, so I thought ahead about what I felt comfortable sharing, keeping in mind that my priority was to keep the audience focused on the content and to help them think about how it could be integrated into their work.
We all have different opinions on what should be shared in the workplace. Some of us were socialized to believe that you “leave your personal life at the door,” while others want their colleagues to know everything about them. For me, I encourage folks to think about the impact it has on them and their colleagues if they do- or do not- share. I ask them to consider what will allow them to do their best work. We don’t have to share details to acknowledge whether something in our personal lives is impacting us, because leaving our lives at the door is unrealistic.
Those of us in positions of power are both models and tone-setters. We lead by example, and have the responsibility to be intentional about what example we want others to follow. We have the power to create space and foster a culture that enables employees to perform at their best.
So what do you share that empowers you to do your best work?
