Blog
Where is the Accountability?
We are told there’s too little evidence, or too much evidence… the rules keep changing but the outcome is the same: a lack of accountability for those who perpetuate gender-based violence. The criminal justice system was not created to protect survivors and too often it upholds imbalances of power that allow perpetrators to harm again and again.
20 Years of Joy & Pain in April
I had thrown myself into activism as a way of transforming my trauma from something negative into something actionable and positive. But the healing process is lifelong and not linear. I received so much praise for the work I did on campus and in the community to raise awareness and offer messages of hope and inspiration. And while the hope existed, the pain and the grief from what I had experienced and what I had lost was also real, no matter how much I tried to ignore it. I didn’t want to admit when I was triggered or struggling because I felt like I was letting my perpetrator win. But, what we resist persists. Ignoring our pain does not rid us of it.
We Need to Talk About Men
When we have been harmed and we do not have a safe outlet to express our pain, we are more likely to hurt others and/or to hurt ourselves. Boys and men are often socialized not to talk about their feelings, not to cry, or seek support. Many young men are given explicit and implicit messages that if they’ve been hurt the only acceptable emotion is anger. And where does that anger go? If we want to make strides in prevention, we have to explicitly acknowledge that all genders can experience sexual and domestic violence. We have to hold ourselves accountable if we are creating harm and silencing survivors by upholding a gender binary when working to prevent gender-based violence. We have to examine how the standards of traditional masculinity harm everyone, including men.